when it comes to me

A collegue, after days not contacting each other, texted me "I got a weird dream last nite about you!"

Based on my experience, and also others, that kind statement sometime is really weird or even scary.

"You hand me your wedding invitation. Crying and say 'If you don't come, I will not come back'."

Laughed all I can do. I took it cool, but in the other hand couldn't let myself to figure out 'what kind of sign that dream is trying to tell us?'. Her texted succed make me to think about my wish, that I set some years ago.

I would love to die on my 30. Yes, on my 30 not 30-ish. A wish that whispered in my ear. The first time I heard about it, I smiled "that is awesome!"

I started to dream about how I would die someday. I don't want any pain, accident, or desease that caused me dead. All I want is just die, I go to bed and never open my eyes again. It happened to my cousin, that is beautifull. But, no way for killing myself, that is another way of hurting myself and I don't want to do it.

I love to die in cheap way. I don't want my family to pay the hospital bill for the accident that cost my life. And also it would be good for my organs, I can donor it.

If my friend's dream tries to tell me something, wish I will die in the next 3 years. I am just a human being, there is something I wanna do before I lost my breathe. I want to love and to be loved, I want to be healthy, I need to be happy. I think that is a way of me celebrating my life.

Three years would be short, but if I can make the fullest of it, I won't regret a thing. But, if I have shorter time I am also ok, tho' a little am already achieve some of my goals. What if I have more than three years? ummm,,,that would be allright, I will keep on my goals tho' will be a bit dispointed because again I can't grant my own wish.

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