I am becoming the person I hate the most. How I wish to have a peacefull mind but don,t work. Spend too much time with virtual world drown me into misery.

Oh well,, the number change. Bye to the 20's welcome to the 30's. Got nothing to expect in life just for being happy, cos that what is matter the most. I am feeling gratefull for the things I've done and for the upcoming plans that I'm curently making it come true. I stand my ground even more firmly about not to let people bring sadness and negativities in my life.  Life taught me, what it takes to understand which people to keep and to ditch out of my life. Decision has been made, I've shuted down energy consuming relationship and I am embracing for cutting off another relationship. What a way to start my 30's. To be honest I dont give a damn with those people who act like Dementor, sucking up people happiness. Here is the thing, Indonesian has a serious problem for being such a jerk and not happy with other people's life decission. It happened to me and the most anoying thing the culprit of the nasty comments are my extended family. Those peo...

I am afraid my blog post will be filled with my getting aged related only. Shame on myself. Hahaha... Hell yeah, turned to 29 this month. I believe that is just number since am feeling 22 inside. I will keep in mind that am always in my early 22, that's the best way to stop aging.  Am still on the road. Spent d-day worked in 10° celcius. Kudos to meself that can survive the weather. Well... What to reflects this time of the year? Nothing much but just thanking the universe for all the wonderfull journeys I am having and will have in the future.  My guy asked how do I feel, and I replied "I have no other options but to be happy. I have experiences smiling at the memory from the past and regreting that I didnt cherish the moment back then. So now I want to smile not smiled!". I want to be happy because I need it.

Before leaving home, I told my friend to make a memento for our journey. We share something in common, we are leaving the country, both with different destinations and purposes. Also, we are Minang, we raised with the concept of "merantau" not literally meaning for "traveling". Mostly Minang guys will do that. Leave all things behind and start to experience something new in life. Well, they all thinks merantau is guy thing, but we, women, also want to experience that.  So, one thing led to another and we decided to take notes of the journey in order to make me smile when looking back at it. If you guys want to check please go this www.raunround.wordpress.com . It is in Bahasa Indonesia because we want to keep the culture along where ever we go, Enjoy!

We all know that the media always has their own perspective about the perfect girl/woman. But, I hope you will not get bored if I tell you how media in Indonesia always change their ideal girl/woman. For the past, maybe, 10-15 years, media in Indonesia changed the criteria of beauty several times. No matter how many times it changes, I’ve never matched their criteria. When I was 10-12 years old, there was one commercial that I still remember untill now. There were twin girls, Santi and Sinta. They were walking by the beach, but Santi didn’t feel comfortable to walk with her sister. The main reason is she is not as white as Sinta. All eyes (read: boys) are on Sinta. The commercial never mentioned wether one of their parents are darker than others. The reason Sinta has a flawless white skin is she uses whitening lotion on a daily basis. Sinta shares her secret, in four weeks people can’t tell which one is Santi or Sinta. Both girls have white skin, Santi’s confident spike u...

Another number to add. This time I kinda relax to face it. No excited feelings, nor ignore the date. It came all natural. Just want to take a moment of silent for meself. Some big steps in life I've already taken before this number came. I am now, living mylife as an expats, a little wish I whispered ages ago. I left family back home, so it let me feel homesick of being around them. The bold note for this time is I am in the country I have longed since years ago, India. One time I told myself to add the number in India. And, here I am. How wonderful life is. Especially when the love one is there next to me. I want a memento, a present for me. I will have it later and keep you updated. Namaste.

Terus terang pemahaman saya soal Sumba sangat minim. Ah, lebih baik anggap saja tidak punya pengetahuan apa-apa. Tetapi saat mendengar nama Sumba disebut, imajimasi saya berada di dataran hijau dan banyak kuda berlarian di permukaannya. Hahaha...jangan-jangan imajinasi tentang kuda karena promosi susu kuda liar yang memang terkenal dari Nusa Tenggara. Kemarin saat berpikir tentang rumah masa depan, Sumba kembali hadir dalam pikiran. Entah mengapa saya pun menuliskan nama itu di buku catatatan. Saya jadikan itu sebagai mantra. Berharap jampi itu cukup kuat untuk membawa saya ke timur.  Sehari setelah mantra dirapal, saat mengecek lini masa instagram, sebuah posting dari akun evacelia membuat saya semakin yakin akan Sumba. Lihat saja koleksi foto evacelia di Sumba. Keduanya sungguh cantik. Sumba sangat memesona, magis, dan mistis. Feeling saya akan tempat bagus masih berfungsi ternyata. See you soon, Sumba! 

Samey... Perhaps I would do anything to hold you in my arms. I probably have a chance to do so. But, baby I am sorry. I am preparing myself to back off. Because the term an facing now is to be with you with others. I only need you and the one without any chance of the second one to involve. I will explain it to you someday. I will find avway for us both .

A collegue, after days not contacting each other, texted me "I got a weird dream last nite about you!" Based on my experience, and also others, that kind statement sometime is really weird or even scary. "You hand me your  wedding invitation. Crying and say 'If you don't come, I will not come back'." Laughed all I can do. I took it cool, but in the other hand couldn't let myself to figure out 'what kind of sign that dream is trying to tell us?'. Her texted succed make me to think about my wish, that I set some years ago. I would love to die on my 30. Yes, on my 30 not 30-ish. A wish that whispered in my ear. The first time I heard about it, I smiled "that is awesome!" I started to dream about how I would die someday. I don't want any pain, accident, or desease that caused me dead. All I want is just die, I go to bed and never open my eyes again. It happened to my cousin, that is beautifull. But, no way for kil...

Strong tittle, well at least for me. I considered myself as a self centered person before. Kinda erased it little by little. People said, to be more open will be good for mental health. It does.  I tried to put people first after me. But not sure if they knew about that, or they knew but pretend not to to know a thing. No matter how I convince myself to not to worry about that, at some point I want a feed back. I do want people to put me first before themself. Isn't it nice to be reminded by someone. My mom told me once to expect the unexpected. She was trying to say 'others can't help you much but yourself'. I think am a bit exhausted to give the best out of me for people. Wanna tell them how much, sometime, they fail me, but that is kinda rude. I just kept it inside without realising its destructive power. I am weak. Now, I choose to be more self centered. I dont care about others, because I need to take care of my own feeling. I have my own plans, dr...

There is nothing more annoying when someone making fun either themself or anyone else. Me, myself, try not to bother people when they are mocking themshelf since it won't cause any harm for me. But when it is so overated it would be really annoying. I have several girls friend, base on my friend's consideration their appearance is ok and even cute, but you do know girls, they don't like their own body. I meant most of them. My friend sometime said, 'look my excessive belly fat' pulling up her t-shirt to show me that chewy belly. In my opinion she is totally ok, perfect Asian face, white and smooth skin, and the most important thing is she has good personality and brain. There are many people will fight for that fortune and don't mind the fat belly. She whined once, I was ok. But the second, the third and so on time, I got a bit mad. I was mad because if she worries much about physicall look, it will affect me. Probably I will go crazy freaking out l...

In someway that little cute adorable girl will remind me of him, especially 4 days after her birthday. So I told her mom "I just found out that days after she was born I met him,". One event that colored up your life, right?, she asked me. I couldn't agree more. I love life for its bad and good. It is marvelous in every way. I (try not to) regret for everything that happened in my life. THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE YOU HELPED ME TO COMPLETE MY COLORFUL PUZZLE OF MY LIFE

Tio.. Tio... Do you think we can walk down the road and sing out loud that "HELP" song again?

Chris an American  I hate Americans and their stupid American Dreams! Ryan a Singaporean, before was Indian I hate India and Indians, they are a mess and there is no quality of living! Gabriel an Italian I hate Italians they are stupid and talks a lot! Efi an Indonesian I have no problem being Indonesian and want to be one forever!

So, what you say if I told you that am standing in two different places at the same time, Tio?

Him: So every of us should pay 150k IDR Her: *taking her money out and stare at me* cewek juga harus bayar? gw belum pernah dibeginiin! Entah karena saya yang terlalu banyak begaul sama teman atau emang cuek saja seraya mengabaikan aturan "man should pay the bill", saya yidak masalah sama sekali untuk bayar apa yang saya makan. Si cewek yang agak kurang nyaman dengan perlakuan itu sibu menjelaskan, real gentleman should.treat.their woman nice, and that is include pay the bill. Cewek di meja itu selain kami berdua ada seorang teman saya yang lain, Flo. Saya dan Flo cuma berkomentar, ekspektasi kamiidak banyak; ditraktir, Alhamdulillah. Kalo enggak, ya udah enggak masalah juga. Saya: kalian udah lama jalan bareng? Dia: lah, dia udah nembak gw. Lagian mantan gw juga orang Spanyol dan enggak pernah tuh kayak gini. Lagi-lagi saya dan Flo meyakinkan dia membayar apa yang masuk ke perut kita dengan duit dari dompet sendiri cukup wajar. Selama ini, saya sendiri pun sudah m...

To have a good quality undies is really good to support women's body part. To wear a good undies quality with a very nice cutting really boost women, eh my, confidence. I feel strong, healthy, and in a good shape underneath. Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Sudah beberapa waktu mendapatkan informasi soal akan diberhentikannya fasilitas media sosial yang selama ini diberikan Multiply. Namun, pemberitahuan resmi dari staff mereka yang baru saya baca beberapa waktu lalu, seakan-akan terkesan saya tidak mendapat pemberitahuan sebelumnya.  Rasanya ingin menangis. Tanpa alasan. Meskipun saya punya akun di dua fasilitas bloging yang berbeda, namun sedih rasanya kalau barisan kata yang telah dibuat (walau kebanyakan curhatan yang tidak terlalu penting bagi orang) harus dihapus. Mungkin saya masih bisa bernapas lega karena sebagian dari coretan yang pernah saya publikasikan di Multiply saya gandakan di laman daring ini. Saya buka kembali beberapa arsip tulisan dari beberapa masa lalu, serasa terhisap ke dalam putaran arus yang membawa saya ke masa lalu. Sensasinya tidak jauh berbeda dengan membuka album foto lama kita. Pernah seorang bijak bilang (saya lupa redaksional persisnya), "dengan membangun The Great Wall, orang Cina dulu ...

Lethologica: is psychological disorder that inhibits an individual’s ability to articulate his or her thoughts temporarily forgetting key words, phrases or names in conversation. Sekali saya tuliskan pembuka yang sama seperti di atas beberapa tahun lalu. Masa itu, saya menuliskannya sebagai pembuka ulasan album baru band kesukaan saya, Letto. Kali ini, tidak ada sama sekali hubungan dengan pemusik asal Yogyakarta itu.  Bukan sekali, dua kali, tetapi berkali-kali saya tidak bisa bertutur. Aneh. Sementara kepala saya sudah sangat berisik dengan ungkapan, ide, umpatan, serta sanjungan. Namun, tak satupun yang terungkap. Semuanya tersimpan di tempurung kepala. Tidak pernah keluar. Saya tahu apa semua pikiran serta alasan yang ada hilir-mudik di kepala. Teman-teman menyuruh saya untuk merangkai kata, kalimat, paragraf, hingga menjadi tulisan utuh sebagai pelampiasan pikiran. Tidak mudah. Belum ada satupun tulisan, alinea, kalimat, dan kata yang tercipta. Bicarakan! kata...

"life is dull. life is full of pain. maybe this is a chance for something special." .: Juan Antonio Gonzalo :. Friends are one place I run into when the pressures come. What a bliss I had a chance to spend a day with friends. It wasnt a luxury getaway, yet perfect. we didnt drive our car, since we dont have one. we didnt hang out in a superb cafe. we didnt dine in a fancy resto. but, the talk is the best salsa. and, the simple talk always took my feet back on the ground.