I am becoming the person I hate the most. How I wish to have a peacefull mind but don,t work. Spend too much time with virtual world drown me into misery.

Oh well,, the number change. Bye to the 20's welcome to the 30's. Got nothing to expect in life just for being happy, cos that what is matter the most. I am feeling gratefull for the things I've done and for the upcoming plans that I'm curently making it come true. I stand my ground even more firmly about not to let people bring sadness and negativities in my life.  Life taught me, what it takes to understand which people to keep and to ditch out of my life. Decision has been made, I've shuted down energy consuming relationship and I am embracing for cutting off another relationship. What a way to start my 30's. To be honest I dont give a damn with those people who act like Dementor, sucking up people happiness. Here is the thing, Indonesian has a serious problem for being such a jerk and not happy with other people's life decission. It happened to me and the most anoying thing the culprit of the nasty comments are my extended family. Those peo...

Have I told you lately I found out myself have a huge crush on someone. Kinda ashame to say but hell who cares!! All my fellow friends know I have a huge feeling for a brits actor. He is hot I may say. Ginger hair, soft and kissable lips (I guess so) and desperate yet lovely face. Been following his career since he was 11 yo and spent years saw him grow. Since the first time I laid my eyes on him I know he stole my heart right away. He is just a "sidekick" but still could grab the attention once a while. Once I had a dream. He was in it. I met him by a coincidence in London's tube. My oh my, I asked him to rub my belly as I was pregnant (not his unfortunately :p). So, in my culture believes if a pregnant belly is rubed by a goodlooking person there is hope the baby will be born good looking as well. Hahahaha... Couple nights ago I met him once again in my sleep. Again, it was set in London's tube. He was on the phone. I tried to make a contact by waving my han...

I am afraid my blog post will be filled with my getting aged related only. Shame on myself. Hahaha... Hell yeah, turned to 29 this month. I believe that is just number since am feeling 22 inside. I will keep in mind that am always in my early 22, that's the best way to stop aging.  Am still on the road. Spent d-day worked in 10° celcius. Kudos to meself that can survive the weather. Well... What to reflects this time of the year? Nothing much but just thanking the universe for all the wonderfull journeys I am having and will have in the future.  My guy asked how do I feel, and I replied "I have no other options but to be happy. I have experiences smiling at the memory from the past and regreting that I didnt cherish the moment back then. So now I want to smile not smiled!". I want to be happy because I need it.

​ I reached the point when listen to people calling others by their race or nationality make me sick. To me it sounds superiority or else inferiority. At first I told everyone where am from just to let them know "who I am". Lot of reactions over   the statement just because they know a lot, somewhat don't know, and mayb e don't know anything at all. I decided not to brag more about how beautifull my country is, or how rich in culture we are. I let them know I am as person and not give them a chance to generelasize my people just because a single me. For your concern, that is not easy since you live in world full of prejudice. Before I steped in Australia some said Aussies are frickin racist. Once I live around that is make sense. This kanggoroo land is any etnicity melting pot. You name it you got any race you want. But, it would too much if I say all Aussies are racist, because all other people are. I work with different kind of nationalitie...

I haven't touched my keyboard for so long. It was long time ago since the last time I blog walking. How could I do that to myself? Why did I let myself take out the excitement of reading friends' blogs and focus on social media for long? I found the exicitement today after blogwalked for few minutes. This is the kind of refreshing I need: sit for hours staring at little screen of my broke-hinge laptop and smiling for the lights thoughts of my fellow. Guys, if you read this, I would like to thank you for letting me know what are those deep inside your mind. If it is not enlighting it is just good. Have a good day you all!

I thought I could overcome jelousy. The fact, it is not as easy as it seems. Just imagine, you and the other is in the same state but the other one got better treatment that you. How would you feel? That is a shitty feeling I should face. And my self esteem went downhill like hell. I am sad.  

S urat ini merupakan res pon dari pesan dari seroang Pengajar Muda yang meminta masyarakat Indonesia mengirimkan Surat Semangat untuk anak didiknya di sebuah desa di Muara Enim, Sumatera Utara. Surat sudah saya kirimkan kepada yang bersangkutan.    Halo..Halo Prawindra Putri Anzari atau yang biasa dipanggil Moo. Apa kabarkah? Masih dingin di Danau Gerak? Perkenalkan saya Efi. Saya dapat terusan pesan dari teman soal permintaan untuk mengirimkan ¨Surat Semangat¨ untuk 170 siswa tempat kamu mengajar. Saya coba-coba cari nama kamu di google dan akhirnya menemukan profil FB kamu. Kamu mungkin sudah tahu kalau aksi Surat Semangat sudah menjalar kemana-mana. Bahkan, kalau lihat dari foto yang kamu upload di FB sudah ada surat yang datang dari beberapa negara di luar negeri. Hebat sekali pesan kamu bisa menggerakan banyak orang untuk memberikan motivasi buat teman-teman di Danau Gerak. Saya pun ikut tergerak untuk mengirim surat. Tetapi bukan untuk anak-anak S...

Before leaving home, I told my friend to make a memento for our journey. We share something in common, we are leaving the country, both with different destinations and purposes. Also, we are Minang, we raised with the concept of "merantau" not literally meaning for "traveling". Mostly Minang guys will do that. Leave all things behind and start to experience something new in life. Well, they all thinks merantau is guy thing, but we, women, also want to experience that.  So, one thing led to another and we decided to take notes of the journey in order to make me smile when looking back at it. If you guys want to check please go this www.raunround.wordpress.com . It is in Bahasa Indonesia because we want to keep the culture along where ever we go, Enjoy!

We all know that the media always has their own perspective about the perfect girl/woman. But, I hope you will not get bored if I tell you how media in Indonesia always change their ideal girl/woman. For the past, maybe, 10-15 years, media in Indonesia changed the criteria of beauty several times. No matter how many times it changes, I’ve never matched their criteria. When I was 10-12 years old, there was one commercial that I still remember untill now. There were twin girls, Santi and Sinta. They were walking by the beach, but Santi didn’t feel comfortable to walk with her sister. The main reason is she is not as white as Sinta. All eyes (read: boys) are on Sinta. The commercial never mentioned wether one of their parents are darker than others. The reason Sinta has a flawless white skin is she uses whitening lotion on a daily basis. Sinta shares her secret, in four weeks people can’t tell which one is Santi or Sinta. Both girls have white skin, Santi’s confident spike u...

Another number to add. This time I kinda relax to face it. No excited feelings, nor ignore the date. It came all natural. Just want to take a moment of silent for meself. Some big steps in life I've already taken before this number came. I am now, living mylife as an expats, a little wish I whispered ages ago. I left family back home, so it let me feel homesick of being around them. The bold note for this time is I am in the country I have longed since years ago, India. One time I told myself to add the number in India. And, here I am. How wonderful life is. Especially when the love one is there next to me. I want a memento, a present for me. I will have it later and keep you updated. Namaste.

Seorang teman mempertanyakan pilihan saya. Bukan, hal itu tidak ada kaitannya sama sekali dengan urusan pilpres. Ia mempertanyakan pilihan saya untuk menjalin hubungan dengan pasangan saat ini. Dibilangnya karena masa depan yag tidak pasti, mengapa saya mau menghabiskan waktu dengan pasangan yang penghidupannya saat ini masih labil. Berbeda dengan pria pujaanya yang memiliki penghidupan ,saat ini, yang layak. Hal yang sama diharapkan terjadi pada masa depan. Sebenarnya dia tidak membandingkan kantong pasangan siapa yang paling tebal, tetapi mempertanyakan ketidaksukaan saya pada pria-nya. Saya pun beralasan bahwa pujaannya itu berkelakuan buruk pada saya, kalaupun saya mendukung hubungan mereka lebih karena si teman terlihat bahagia berpasangan dengan pria itu. Saya agak merenung dan mengulang kembali ucapan teman, "penghidupan pria-mu tidak stabil, berbeda dengan pria saya yang pekerjaannya mapan". Apakah saya salah menentukan pilihan?  Saya termasuk p...

Terus terang pemahaman saya soal Sumba sangat minim. Ah, lebih baik anggap saja tidak punya pengetahuan apa-apa. Tetapi saat mendengar nama Sumba disebut, imajimasi saya berada di dataran hijau dan banyak kuda berlarian di permukaannya. Hahaha...jangan-jangan imajinasi tentang kuda karena promosi susu kuda liar yang memang terkenal dari Nusa Tenggara. Kemarin saat berpikir tentang rumah masa depan, Sumba kembali hadir dalam pikiran. Entah mengapa saya pun menuliskan nama itu di buku catatatan. Saya jadikan itu sebagai mantra. Berharap jampi itu cukup kuat untuk membawa saya ke timur.  Sehari setelah mantra dirapal, saat mengecek lini masa instagram, sebuah posting dari akun evacelia membuat saya semakin yakin akan Sumba. Lihat saja koleksi foto evacelia di Sumba. Keduanya sungguh cantik. Sumba sangat memesona, magis, dan mistis. Feeling saya akan tempat bagus masih berfungsi ternyata. See you soon, Sumba! 

Seseorang pernah berpendapat "Sepertinya negara-negara di Asia Tenggara iri dengan Singapura." Entahlah apa maksudnya, mungkin berdasarkan pengamatannya Indonesia, termasuk bagian dari Asia Tenggara, cukup tertinggal dengan negara mungil yang ultra modern, rapi, disiplin, dan bersih itu. Tentu saja saya tidak bisa terima, berbusa-busa menyebutkan keunggulan Indonesia dibanding negeri seberang tersebut. Disebutnya saya Indonesia-sentris. Apa iya? mungkin juga. Lah seumur hidup saya hanya tinggal di Indonesia, belum pernah intip-intip atau memahami lebih dalam negeri lain. Tapi setelah dipikir-pikir mungkin dia ada benarnya juga. Apalah yang bisa dibanggakan dari tanah kelahiran saya, lihat saja sampah tersebar dimana-mana, tidak teratur, kerap melanggar aturan, korupsi, dan tidak banyak di antara kami yang mahir berbahasa Inggris. Saya pernah ke Singapura, hanya sebentar dan itu pun urusan pekerjaan dan mengunjungi teman. Terus terang pada kunjungan pertama saya k...

I started it, finally. After (not) long dream in the end I set myself out of my homecountry. There I left valuable people behind. A mix of feelings, emotional the most suitable word to describe it.  It has been three weeks already. I still have another week before my Thailand tourist visa runs out, yet still have no idea where to head to next. It is good to be outside of the shell tho sometime feel a bit awkward when I can text friend to meet up or talk. Distance. Lonely when I cant use my language, gruesome when people mistake me not as an Indonesian. I reached the point "it is no fun if you think I am Thai!" But on top of all, I realise that for years I never set up goals in life. Note this, my life is so easy for some past years, get stuck in my comfort zone. Once I stepped out of that comfort zone, as wishing "let the time shows me the way", I notice how stupid I am to make decision without setting up a goal before hand. Wandering seems not fun ...

I lost four teeth. The same number of those love ones I left behind. I dont know how it was end. Too afraid to continue the sleep when realised how frigjtening the dream was. It was just a dream. It was not real. Love to those four from afar.

Sam, you are the only reason I want to love and to be loved. I will wait eventhough I don't know how much longer. I will see you. Love.

for what it is worth to wait for upcoming mesage that you know won't come in few days?

Days ago I pass through that memorable place. It took me back to time when you express how I am gonna be in future. "You will develope yourself and someday you will be in my position," you said, I didn't reply but gave you blank stare. How do you know it? What do you see in me that my eyes can't see? I am not saying am already at your level like back then, but it seems am on my way there. What would you say this time? What am I turn myself into? I wonder how your opinion would be, Tio.

Halo baby... How are you doing? I always have you as the one I adore the most. But, someday I will show you the other man who always make me feel secure, I ran into him whenever I feel sad. The greatest man I ever known. I bet you would love him as well like I do. We can call him bapak.